Day 43 – The golden handcuffs

It occurred to me that this evening after chatting my Nana about her various ‘hobbies’ (She couldn’t decide if she wanted to be a gardener, an artist or a potter, so she tried them all) that it would be nice to have some time out to ‘figure out what I want to do next’.

You see, I know I don’t want to teach until retirement. But at present I can’t see any way out. Like goldfish, our lives expand to fill whatever space we occupy, so we live to our means with not much ‘wiggle room’. And I earn a decent wage. No teacher is going to tell you we are paid what we are worth – but between us the grumpy Dutchman and I manage to make a nice life for the four of us.

And yet. I have this daydream.

I picture myself, and my fam, in a house on Waiheke Island. I ‘work from home’ making photos, jewellery, sewing, reading, blogging, baking Gf, Df and Sf delicious-ness and making all of our other food from scratch. Including our nut milks. (yes dear hur hur). We have a vege garden and chooks, and a raw milk  and home kill meat contact. The GD has conveniently gotten a job at the local Intermediate so he is happy too teaching. The boys have a backyard to frolic in and we spend our summers living at our local beach. I do yoga and am 10cms taller, and 6 kilos lighter and tan all year round. (Hey it’s my daydream). And here’s the clincher – I don’t get bored ever. Even though I’m not working a 9-5 somehow our expenses have shrunk with our income and I can still visit with friends, buy beautiful NZ designed clothing, collect beautiful shoes, drink wine and take road trips whenever I want.

Nice dream. The reality is that we can’t afford for either of us to not work. Not without moving out of Auckland or radically re-designing our world. And it would be a BIG step. I love my job, and I love my girls, but sometimes I think a couple of years ‘off’ would be quite nice too thanks.

Or maybe I’m just tired after nearly a whole week of talking to 150+ people a day (after speaking to maybe 6 max a day in the holidays). Maybe I just need to go to bed.

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