There’s no way to accurately describe the crazy humour and desperate sadness that is sitting with my Nana for 2 and a half hours as she asks the same three questions over and over again. As she obsesses over the other woman who is supposed to have moved in with my Grandad. As she mithers over her ‘lost’ rings. As she giggles when I say that I would visit every day but she wouldn’t remember anyway. As she reads the same card of information over and over and over again – making the same mistakes over the same words, asking the same questions at the same points and exclaiming ‘It says you’ll be here on Sunday Kathleen and look there you are!’. Madness.
I can’t write about it but I can say that for the first time in MONTHS I walked out of the hospital thinking about drinking a whole bottle of wine and maybe stealing one of the grumpy Dutchmans cigarettes.
Instead I did something totally not rock and roll. Food shopping.
Living on the edge. Didn’t quite scratch the itch I gotta say. But I have managed to ease the sunday horrors a wee bit and prepped for the week ahead. I have roasted a variety of veges (courgettes, kumara, beans, capsicum etc). I am about to go boil some eggs and I have tins of salmon and avocado on hand to go with the veges. I am determined not to be caught short this week, especially as I am anticipating major sugar withdrawal combined with busy-ness for the week ahead.
The GD had a veeerrrrrryyy late night/early morning so I am guessing all three dutchmen might be in bed early tonight. Peace and quiet for Mamabear. Win.