#devilchildren

We all love a good morning routine right? We rise quietly, bleary-eyed but excited about the potential of a new day, stumble out in to the rising sun and greet the songbirds as they sing in the new dawn.

Ha ha fucking ha.

Today I am lucky I got to school before the first bell – as it was it was lucky I didn’t run over the girls as they lined up for assembly as I sped in to the grounds much MUCH later than I intended to be on this bloody Monday morning.

I get up in the morning in a good mood. Pretty much every day without fail. It’s one of my most annoying habits. But I have spawned offspring that do not. And the GD has his own ‘routine’ that may or may not involve the rest of us depending on whether he has decided that he is in a terrific hurry that morning or not.

On days that I don’t boot-camp or run – more frequent in my old age than I’d readily admit – I get up and feed the pets, put the coffee on and I go through and wake the rest of the house. The 6 yr old gets up immediately with me and I/we make him breakfast; I go through multiple times to the bedroom and remind the 9 yr old that he needs to get up, all the while finding their clothes and shoes for the day and ‘laying them out’ for them like they are fucking little princes or some shit. The 6 yr old clings like a limpet and will often follow me through the house with his cereal or toast in hand all the while leaving a trail of food for the dog to follow. The dog loves him for this – who doesn’t appreciate a second breakfast?

Once they are up and getting dressed I make their lunches and put a piece of toast in for me. (I haven’t had coffee yet – I like to have my coffee WITH my breakfast). Then, before I get to my toast I find something that the 9 yr old will deign to eat – he is very anti breakfast – and help the 6 yr old get dressed because apparently he ‘can’t’ by himself.

Then I find my toast – if I’m not there to witness it pop my toaster flings it high in the air and it can land anywhere – and sit down to have breakfast and my first cup of coffee with the 9 yr old (who is often in the other room sulking because I haven’t found him the right tee shirt/ shorts/ shoes and he won’t eat with the food I have made on pain of death).

Then just as I am finishing up and getting ready to shower the GD will come through and announce he is getting in the shower. This is the beginning of the end.

You see, the GD’s routine consists roughly of getting up, making coffee/pouring his cup and going outside with it to have a cigarette (which actually means staring at his phone for twenty minutes), then if no one is nagging him to do otherwise (read: me asking him to either feed the animals or children etc) he comes inside and goes and sits on the toilet for half an hour (he’s staring on his phone there too), then he comes in and showers, dresses and comes in to the kitchen to announce that he’s in a terrible hurry because the motorway is ‘crazy’ and he doesn’t want to be late. Then he just leaves. Just like that, He fucking leaves with no fighting and no one screaming about their shoes or anything – it’s a fucking miracle.

Naturally at all points in his routine I am doing my damnedest to disrupt his happy little meandering, and this all comes off as me badgering him because if I can get in the shower first it will dramatically change the morning for all.

If I can get in the shower first then the GD has nothing to do while he waits so he can in fact, make sure the little Dutchmen have their shoes on, their school bags packed and are not killing each-other as they wait for me to be ready to take them to school. On these mornings we leave much closer to 7.30, have a pleasant ride to school, and I get to school before eight am with my waking morning sunshine-y ass intact.

But mostly lately, even on days that I boot camp because usually the routine starts the same way once I get home (only we’re now 45 mins behind so that’s fun) we have the shitshow that was this morning. ONCE everyone else is ready to go, and the GD is out of the shower and walking out the door – because he’s going to be so late remember?, Then it is finally my turn to start getting ready.

Now, it should be relatively simple in fact for this to happen, I shower, I get dressed, we get in the car and leave. Simple.

But as it turns out, once the #devilchildren are ready to go to school they can’t actually be trusted alone together because that’s when they go in to full hellion mode. I can bargain with them, bribe them, threaten them – or even, in an attempt to be positive, remind them of ‘that one time they played nicely together while they waited and then we all drove to school together cheerfully and it was wonderful?’ but to no avail.

Today the water wasn’t even running before the screaming started. The youngest child has a shriek that is piercing no matter how far away you are and I feel it physically. I can’t ablute with the door shut – too dangerous to not be within earshot – so it was but a matter of seconds before I had both of them in the bathroom with me listing the others crimes and trying to drown the other out with sheer volume. Banished separately – one to their (shared) room with the other to the lounge didn’t work because one’s toys were in the others time out zone and he swiftly set about breaking as many as them as possible much to the horror of his offsider who started screaming profanities that would have made a pirate blush.

Cut to me standing naked in the lounge (in full view of any neighbour who wanted to be put off their breakfast) pointing dramatically down the hallway and shouting that ‘EVERYONE IS FUCKING WALKING TO SCHOOL AND I DON’T CARE HOW LONG IT TAKES FOR YOU TO GET THERE!’.

I finally showered with the 6 yr old sobbing piteously outside the glass, the 9 yr old in his bed refusing to come out (blankets over his head and blinds drawn – shades of his teen years I fear) all the while cursing my beloveds name.

We all sulked on the way to school. No mindless chatter about whatever is in the 6 yr olds head (I’ll give you a clue – it’s usually poo) or any deeper (more worrying) questions from the 9 yr old like ‘WHY did the Americans vote in Trump and does this mean all the black people are going to be shot now?’ for example.

I drove to school feeling guilty for getting so mad and hoping that they wouldn’t have a shite day at school as a result of our bloody awful morning.*

There are ways to mitigate this madness. If I break the ‘no screens before school’ rule they will stare like zombies at their chosen screen while I shower and dress and get myself in the car – but as soon as I turn the screens off so begins the 20 minute meltdown over putting a pair of shoes on because the flickering blue lights have taken away their ability to determine between a reasonable request i.e. put your shoes on and get in the car and that tantamount to pain and torture and endless suffering.

Some mornings I get home from boot camp and run to the shower while no one is looking and issue instructions from inside my watery haven. Those are good mornings.

And if I have to be fair, and godamnit the GD reads this so I have to be, some mornings he has fed one of the children by the time I get back and might have started a lunchbox or two before he sees me and skedaddles. To be fair he goes in the opposite direction of the kids school so dropping them off doesn’t make sense. But I’m not in the mood to be fair and it’s not that part that fucks with me.

It’s the way he just GOES. ‘Oops I’m going to be late!’ he sings out gaily and runs out the door. As if somehow me being late to work every single fucking day isn’t as bad as if he was ten minutes later. Don’t forget that I stop on the way with the kids too, and although I basically slow down, kiss them and drop them off, more often that not lately I have to get out and walk them in because they are so tired and sad about mornings (normal end of term stuff). This adds a good fifteen minutes to an already to-long routine.

I know this is end of term stuff and everyone is exhausted. And I know that some people will be reading this and thinking WHY don’t they make their lunches the night before, and foster more independence in their children to make their own breakfasts and all that happy helpful shit that I would mutter under my breath too. And I do mutter that shit under my breath at me. But tbh at the moment I am hanging out until JUST AFTER my kids have hit their pillows before I collapse in to mine. Our routines go to hell when we’re tired and that’s just the sucky, sticky reality of it.

Just the freedom of being able to leave when I’m ready like that. The miracle of it. I’m always reminded of this bit by Michael Mcintyre about Leaving the House.

Little do the #littledutchmen know that I have plans to ride my bike to my new job next year. I wonder if that means the GD will be dropping them off and I can just leave when I’m ready? Huh.

*They had a great day and all of the mornings dramas were forgotten in minutes as soon as they saw their friends of course, it was just Mummy who thought about it all day and felt like shite. Happy lads upon afternoon pick up. Because I knew you were wondering.

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Day 74 – preparation or bust

I am determined not to be caught short this week for food, so I spent this evening – until well after my bedtime prepping. I now have homemade capsicum and eggplant chutney, falafels, chicken poppers and boiled eggs all in the fridge waiting to be sorted in to lunchboxes for me and the fam. No fruit this week, just back to basics with cooked veges, meat and green tea. Green (vege only) smoothies for brekkies and homemade chicken stock in our cooking. Got to get back on an even keel if I am to beat this slump. I may even make bliss balls if I have the energy after school tomorrow – in between the exhaustion I am feeling inspired!

Now I must sleep. Monday (and cyclone Pam) awaits!

Day 46 – Prepping for the week

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Sunday prep day. Due to the GD’s extended outing this weekend (read; he was extra late home after his birthday/Stag Do weekend partying and I was pissed) I had extra time at home to get prepped for the week ahead. This led to two cabin-feverish wee lads following me around all weekend, but we did manage to squeeze in a couple of shambles around the neighbourhood. Also I managed to convince the youngest that he needed to get a ‘birthday party’ haircut before he could go to his friends party and both boys now have short backs and sides thanks to me and my clippers – they look so straight edge now – so cutie cute.

But I digress. The point of this post was the prepping. Last week I wasn’t so great with the food – giving myself a sore tummy on more than one occasion when I got stuck hungry or hangry with no good food for my gut nearby. The IQS program called for homemade  Basil Pesto and Lemon Protein Balls. I liked the no cook aspect – just needed my food processor. I needed four cups of basil for the Basil Pesto and I had optimistically not bought any so I stripped our three plants and only came up with three cups. I used one cup of coriander and it turned out sweet as bro. I am dairy free so no Parmesan of course – I swapped in Nutritional yeast and it still tastes Pesto-ey. All good. The Lemon balls are an acquired taste but they are sweet enough without having any sugar in them – I think it def depends on your protein powder – and I am not sure how I feel about protein powder to be honest…

I also cooked Falafels, boiled eggs, baked muffins for the fam and grandies and made chicken soup for the freezer (emergency lunches).

So I am feeling pretty prepared for the week. I have a ‘mint mojito smoothie’ to look forward to for breakfast care of the iQS program (we are heading in to ‘clean week’ apparently where things will get lean and green – I will have to watch out for the raw factor and adjust accordingly).

I hope you are prepared for the week ahead and rested after your weekend, have a good one x

Day 43 – The golden handcuffs

It occurred to me that this evening after chatting my Nana about her various ‘hobbies’ (She couldn’t decide if she wanted to be a gardener, an artist or a potter, so she tried them all) that it would be nice to have some time out to ‘figure out what I want to do next’.

You see, I know I don’t want to teach until retirement. But at present I can’t see any way out. Like goldfish, our lives expand to fill whatever space we occupy, so we live to our means with not much ‘wiggle room’. And I earn a decent wage. No teacher is going to tell you we are paid what we are worth – but between us the grumpy Dutchman and I manage to make a nice life for the four of us.

And yet. I have this daydream.

I picture myself, and my fam, in a house on Waiheke Island. I ‘work from home’ making photos, jewellery, sewing, reading, blogging, baking Gf, Df and Sf delicious-ness and making all of our other food from scratch. Including our nut milks. (yes dear hur hur). We have a vege garden and chooks, and a raw milk  and home kill meat contact. The GD has conveniently gotten a job at the local Intermediate so he is happy too teaching. The boys have a backyard to frolic in and we spend our summers living at our local beach. I do yoga and am 10cms taller, and 6 kilos lighter and tan all year round. (Hey it’s my daydream). And here’s the clincher – I don’t get bored ever. Even though I’m not working a 9-5 somehow our expenses have shrunk with our income and I can still visit with friends, buy beautiful NZ designed clothing, collect beautiful shoes, drink wine and take road trips whenever I want.

Nice dream. The reality is that we can’t afford for either of us to not work. Not without moving out of Auckland or radically re-designing our world. And it would be a BIG step. I love my job, and I love my girls, but sometimes I think a couple of years ‘off’ would be quite nice too thanks.

Or maybe I’m just tired after nearly a whole week of talking to 150+ people a day (after speaking to maybe 6 max a day in the holidays). Maybe I just need to go to bed.

Day 41 – Decluttering and prioritising time.

Two things that stress me out;

  1. Stuff where there shouldn’t be stuff. I know those of you who have graced our humble little abode with your glorious presence will find this hard to believe (spoiler alert – we have a lot of stuff) BUT I hate it when the stuff isn’t in its place. For example the only things that should be on top of the shiny cabinet are the ornaments. ONLY the ornaments. Not bills, or pieces of Lego or fucking any bloody thing you can’t be bothered putting away. No, the mantlepiece is not a good place to keep the bicycle repair kit – it doesn’t quite fit the ‘look’ we are going for babe. Don’t get me started on Master 4’s idea of ‘putting something away’.
  2. And having too much stuff – again, I know we have a lot of stuff – but we have the perfect amount of stuff. It’s just right. Being the collectors of beautiful and wonderful things that me AND the grumpy Dutchman are (yes babe you have how many records? and boring non-fiction books about old stuff?) we do need to do a really good cull every 3-6 months. Usually different stuff each time, (always clothes though; the boys just keep growing no matter how hard we try to stunt their growth with junk food and TV) and always other stuff.

Tonight we did two things to help reduce the stress around these things; We got a cleaner in to do a quote for us AND a friend of mine who has a cool cause called ‘A Book in the hand‘ came and collected some baby stuff to give to people who don’t have a lot of stuff for whatever reason.

I am not telling you this to be all oooooh they so fancy they getting a cleaner! Nope, although we can’t yet afford to buy our own house I’ll tell you why we consider this a good use of a small part of our weekly budget. We are paying for Time. Time to spend with our lads. Time to spend with each-other. Time to read a book if that’s what we want to do. Valuable, rare time. Like most folks we both work full-time, our lads are in care until one of us collects them and we keep working day hours – 8am – 5pm – most days. Like everybody else we get two days on the weekend. And we sure as shit don’t enjoy spending one whole day cleaning the house from top to bottom while the lads follow us round being bored and miserable. (One whole day you say? you’re doing it wrong! Well, we haven’t yet figured out how to clean and entertain the children adequately so they pretty much do all they can to sabotage our efforts to get attention – it’s not an efficient process). We have had a cleaner before and it really frees us up so much. She used to come on a friday and we’d get home and walk in to a beautifully clean house and it was… just…. bliss. The best. (also the morning she came we would run around throwing things in their rightful places so she could better clean the surfaces left behind – voila less stress because everything is in its place! Perfect!).

So we’ve gone back. It means less beer for the GD and less cruising Trademe for me but it’s totes worth it.

The other thing we do, or at least try to do is re-home stuff we can’t/don’t use anymore. Trying not to  landfill can be hard – it’s amazing how many places you can ring to donate to and they don’t want your stuff (a lot of people must try to get rid of dodgy stuff I reckon) and I can’t be bothered with Trademe most of the time. But I would rather give our stroller to a family who can’t afford one than sell it for $20 on trademe and then have to figure out how to get it to Tauranga – you know what I mean? My favourite people to give (good quality clean and safe) stuff to are; the Women’s Refuge, the SPCA, the local school if it’s potential art materials etc, and if I can’t find anywhere I ask around. A book in the Hand is a great concept – Sarah collects books for school children who don’t have them – check out her page, tonight we didn’t have many books to give her but she is involved with another group called ‘Share the Love’ who operate out west and collected a heap of kids/baby stuff to take to them.

It feels good because our loved things go to be loved by someone else, I hate waste and I like to think that the boys toys get to be played with by new kids and don’t grow all lonely and sad in a cupboard somewhere wishing for the good old days… Toy Story really did a number on me huh.

Anyway, in other news I only did HALF my daily goal of steps today. wtf lazy ass.

39 – Keeping the Sunday horrors at bay

You know that feeling of dread that starts to creep over you as lunchtime draws near on Sunday and you realise that you have to go to work tomorrow and you need to squeeze the joy and relaxation out of every second of  your remaining time or the day will be wasted. Fucked. No point in having gotten out of bed at all. And you spend most of the time trying to have FUN and RELAX and taking advantage of your FREE time so you end up being grumpy and irritable with the world because it’s not being perfect? Or is that just me?

I find the best thing to do is to fill up my day getting as best prepared for the week ahead as possible. Not school work – I can’t think about that at home without being asked to look at something, wipe something, judge something, put something in his room for being a dick, feed something – you get the picture. But if I can food shop for the week and get all my food prepared then I can take some of the day-to-day stress out of my working week. And I like making new recipes and getting stuff ready.

Also I like to start the day with an early morning walk. Grab the day by the short curlies. Get out there before shit happens so I can be in charge of what shit happens at what time. The grumpy Dutchman made the mistake of suggesting we walk Arty in the morning and consequently me and the lads were raring to go at sparrows fart and poor old daddy was still trying to pull the duvet over his head. But seriously, it’s so nice out there before the world wakes up; the sun rising and the beautiful light that accompanies it, the birds crapping on about shit at the top of their lungs, the smell of damp grass and Arty’s little ‘pauses’. Idyllic.

'Coco-nutty granola'  Coconut flakes, nuts, cinnamon and coconut oil.
‘Coco-nutty granola’ Coconut flakes, nuts, cinnamon and coconut oil.

Today was prep day so I made a bunch of stuff. Boiled half a dozen eggs for snacks (they will last for up to 5 days in the fridge), Made Sarah Wilson’s ‘Coco-nutty granola’ for my breakfasts as per the iQS program, I tried out the iQS Peach crumble, and made roast chicken and veges for dinner and my lunch tomorrow. I wanted to try coconut yoghurt too (gluten and dairy free but it does have Stevia in it) IT IS FUCKING AMAZING. I got ‘Coyo’ chocolate flavoured because they didn’t have any natural (no really). And oh my god. Made my month. I am going to try to track down the natural flavour at Harvest – but maybe after I get paid because apparently everything I can eat is really fucking expensive.

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I came across this piece of writing today and it was an interesting read. This concept of ‘Orthorexia [that] differs from other forms of disorders in that the obsessive focus is not on how much or how little one consumes, but the perceived virtue of the food itself.‘ resonated with me. She talks about how these (usually young, attractive – gotta be wealthy – women) get so fixated on where their food is coming from and its relative merits that they end up having very little they actually allow themselves to eat and become quite unhealthy as a result. Total first world problems of course. And thankfully she makes a distinction between those with allergies or auto-immune diseases (me) and those who choose to not eat certain foods in pursuit of real or imagined health benefits.

It contrasted nicely with a conversation that me and the lads had where they were asking about me eating gluten-free and what I wanted to eat and of course I listed off all the delicious things I haven’t eaten in two years – lemon meringue pie, neenish tarts, sourdough bread, fruit mince tarts oh drool…..           Frankly if I was choosing to eat gluten-free I would be shit at it. I’d be all ‘one little pie won’t hurt’… every fucking day.

But read it and tell me what you think. The fact that it’s got a name seems a bit extreme but the author raises lots of good points; that a lot of the advice given in fact is dangerous and the way these diets are sold are very persuasive.

Anyhoo – I am sorted for tomorrow. Hope y’all are prepped for the week too!

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Day 36 – tracking progress

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Tracking two ways. On Thursday the 8 week program sends out the shopping list for the following week, the recipe plan, the ‘sunday cook up’ instructions and then handy hints and suggestions for movement and whatever else they can think of. It is good – and quite fun to go through the next week’s plan.

This week their ‘To do’ was the measurement thing. Body cms and weight. And they recommended going to the doc to get all the bloods done – but of course I did that about 25 days ago… I am going to wait until tomorrow morning – I think I ate half my body weight in beef fajitas on delicious coriander salad tonight (and bonus – the boys didn’t want their ‘burned’ – actually ‘charred – corn so I go to eat that too!). Did I mention I am eating my own weight in food every day at the moment? weirdly no snacking between meals – and no really big portions but I feel like I’m eating ALL the time. PMSing so that doesn’t help – gotta fuel up beforehand I guess – keep up my strength.

So in the morning I will take all my measurements – as per the iQS program request – and will weigh myself (dirty word) and put it somewhere safe. Then apparently the iQS will instruct us all to do it again in four weeks – then at the end. they want us to take photos to comapare and contrast but fuck that. I am not photogenic at the best of times – let alone in me knickers.

And, I got a fitbit today. After asking around and seeing what other folks had, and then going in and trying on the seemingly best two – the ‘fitbit’ and the ‘Jawbone’ – I decided on the fitbit because it was sleeker and I didn’t like the way the Jawbone sat up on the underside of my wrist – also yucky pattern on top – bad design. The fitbit I chose is Navy and is sleek on my wrist, I even reckon it will fit under my watch. And I got one not to track my steps although that seems to be its main draw, but to track my SLEEP. Because I am interested in how much I am actually awake at night vs how much I think I am awake at night. So. Who wants to bet I get over it in a week? I hope not.

Oh and I forgot to say that i can sync it up to this blog and have it post my activity once a week. But Nah. this is more of an experiment for myself and it’s totes narcissistic to think people wanna see that shit ha ha

So that’s me today. Very glad it’s a long weekend this weekend – Friday off yeeeah. I love me a good stat holiday. But I do feel sorry for the harassed working parents. You only just got rid of your kids and then we hand them back for you to parenting on a week day. The cheek.

Day 32 – A pinch and a punch

For the first of the month. My boys do not know the ‘pinch and a punch’ game – we don’t want to give them any more reasons to hit each-other. It didn’t stop them today – they don’t need a reason to mortally wound each-other. They flew around the house punching, kicking, spitting, poking, eyeballing, crying, teasing, blaming, each-other ALL DAY. I’m especially fond of the ‘[insert name here] is an idiot’ song. I know all the words now. It’s not hard; you sing ‘[insert name here is an idiot]’ over and over and over again. This is why Mummy drinks. Except she doesn’t this year – and besides they started at 7am.

The reason for their cabin fever? The grumpy Dutchman and I were cleaning the house. A proper vacuum under the beds, lift the ornaments to dust under them, change the portraits of the boys to the latest ones and sort out the wardrobe, clean out. And we didn’t get it through all of it yet. Do you have an ‘Office’ in your house? We do. But in ours is the stroller we haven’t used in two years, clothes we haven’t worn in longer than that, every piece of paper the boys ever drew, painted or dribbled on and you can’t see the desk for the bills, books and general detritus that we don’t know where else to put. The office is the last room left to conquer. We have resolved to tackle it this week but I am not hopeful.

We also did a food shop, got new curtains for the lounge and then the GD hung them, I made Pork and Fennel Meatballs and pasta thanks to the IQS program (DELICIOUS) and baked ‘Coco-nutty breakfast muffins’ (also part of the menu plan). And I managed to squeeze in a breakfast date with one of my best gals.

Am completely and utterly fucked. Exhausted. Shattered. Knackered. Bone tired. This is why our house is normally a pig sty – it’s too damn tiring to be a clean and tidy household! Not when you have a four year old who delights in making as much mess as possible in as short a time as possible. He just followed us around today waiting until a room was immaculate so that he could fuck it up. Ash on the freshly vacuumed carpet, cushions on the floor, folded washing looks like a tornado hit it, the GD scrubbed the bathroom and he went in moments later and flooded it.

So our house will be clean for about 3 days at the outside (he’ll be at daycare during the day so he has less hours to screw with us). If you  don’t see it during this time then you’ll just have to take my word for it.

Day 31 – Last day of the month!

It is the last day of the month! 31 good things for 31 days 🙂

  1. The I Quit Sugar dinner for tonight was great! Coconut cream and Tumeric chicken, Kale and Coriander Quinoa – YUM and the kids ate it!
  2. Bootcamp in the rain today – new location so we were nice and dry – fun times!
  3. More quality time with my Grandies. Nana has been moved to a Nursing home and although she isn’t happy it means she is in the same town as me so I can take her bacon sandwiches and visit Grandad next door in his place.
  4. The sun is rising later – I like to start the day in the dark – it’s nice to watch it rise, sets me up for the day.
  5. School is getting started – looking forward to seeing the girls in my cohort.
  6. Summer fruit.
  7. Hot days.
  8. Summer rain – cools the night down just perfectly.
  9. I know I complain – but school holiday hangs with the lads have been lovely.
  10. A new Niece! I might get to cuddle her soon.
  11. A new dress.
  12. And some new jewellery….
  13. A week in Christchurch without the family to just read books and hang out with my sister – bliss – I could have stayed longer!
  14. Getting my car fixed so it didn’t look quite so derelict.
  15. Alcohol free = clear head in the mornings.
  16. Swollen and sore tummy SO rare that I actually notice it as unusual.
  17. Waiheke Headlands Sculpture trail – Heat, Walking AND Art.
  18. Laneways 2015. People watching heaven.
  19. A friend’s wedding to look forward to ❤
  20. Molly in the bed purring in my side.
  21. Master 7 going to work with the Grumpy Dutchman and earning his keep painting with his dad and Opa, so proud of himself.
  22. First swim of the season.
  23. Friends being so supportive and accommodating of all of my ‘special needs’. I seriously and genuinely appreciate the lengths people have gone to.
  24. The acquisition of a new sculpture from an artist friend.
  25. New shoes. Shoes in general.
  26. Small boy cuddles.
  27. Small boy kisses.
  28. Quality time with my sexy man.
  29. Yoga 3 times a week. I’m getting there slowly…
  30. Breakfast dates with my grrls.
  31. My wonderful friends and family.

Phew! got a little hard in the middle there 🙂 31 turns out to be a lot.

Bring it on February!

Day 29 – Yin

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Today I realised that I must be PMSing because when I got home I ate everything. I walked around eating as I did chores; I cooked dinner and ate peanut butter on carrots as I chopped veges and marinated the lamb. It seemed to hit me all of a sudden; I wasn’t so hungry at work but I don’t know whether to blame my swollen and achey belly on the salad I had for lunch (Raw = bad) or the fact that I’m to be reminded of all the glories of womanhood any day now. I also have the skin of a hormonal teenager. Again. oh the joys.

The iQS program is going well so far, not so much that I don’t know, but the change in meals is nice and I like not having to think! Tonight I made Mediterranean Lamb – and it was so Yum. We had to have it Dairy free of course – and the lack of feta really took the greek out – but it was still a win! (The boys didn’t eat the rocket but they ate everything else – still not convinced with ‘leaves’).

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And the really nice thing was that because it wasn’t a full day at work I got home a little after four and we were having dinner by 5:30.

I tried ‘Yin’ yoga tonight. A 7:30 class which went for an hour, and it went a little over so I was driving home in the dusk which was very peaceful. Have your tried Yin? It is intense. It’s not a warm room – in fact she had to have the aircon on to get rid of the heat from the previous Bikram class – but I was sweating.

Basically you get yourself into ‘stretching’ type positions and then you sit there. And sit, and sink into it and just hang out. And she plays restful music. And encourages you to find a comfortable place for you and to make your own adjustments and all of that. And meanwhile, inside your head, you are screaming. Because OH MY GOD. The first few were okay – I mean everyone else had their heads touching the floor and I could barely get my chin on my chest but, you know, I was ‘finding a comfortable place for me’.  And then we did stuff to ‘open our hips’ and oh boy. Each stretch was held for about 5 mins. Try doing anything even a teeny tiny bit uncomfortable for five minutes. I thought I was going to have to get her to untangle me because I was so stiff. At one point I was a wee bit distracted because I could hear my phone, through the door to the studio and down the hall, going off for my eight o’clock alarm. I may have fucked with a few people’s bliss.

Mmmmm Lamb for lunch tomorrow.