221 – green smoothie success!

It’s been aaaaaaaaaaaaaages since I used my blender – something about a cold smoothie first thing in the morning has NOT appealed in this recent weather (oh my god the HAIL today – like freakin’ snow! Aucklanders went in to shock all over town and forgot to how to drive). Anyhoo, hot brekkies have had way more appeal – especially after boot camp in the freezing cold – and today was no exception.

However, part of me getting back on track is being prepared for stuff. A ‘treat’ I have been loving recently is the v good green stuff smoothie at Kokako. And as the GD pointed out the last time he brought me one to work – they are waaaaaay too expensive for what they are – so I hatched a plan.

This morning I made a smoothie to GO. I made it and put it in my little glass jar with the straw that I got from the warehouse for $2.50 and stashed it in my work fridge for morning tea – which is EXACTLY when I felt like it – win!

I tried a new combo;

  • one and half handfuls of spinach leaves
  • an inch thick round of pineapple with outside bits cut off, cubed
  • one cup coconut water (check the box – heaps have added sugar – I get the one that has the lowest sugar content and def no ADDED sugar)
  • one frozen banana
  • one tablespoon LSA
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla powder

Whack it in and smash it all up together – I give it two blasts because the LSA can be a bit gritty. Water will suffice instead of the coconut water – it is sweet.

It was great! And the best bit is that Master 4 tasted it this morning and then this evening – after refusing a perfectly delicious gf pasta and meatballs – requested it for his dinner! I took out the coconut water and upped the greens and he could hardly tell the difference. That’s one way of getting spinach into a pre-schooler.

Monday is done. Thank the gods.

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158 – Nearly halfway through the year.

At the end of this month it will have been six months through my year of restrictions and I would say that I have, honestly, managed to keep it together for maybe four months but am not in any way able to claim to have been sticking to my self-imposed rules for the six months. I think part of the problem is that I am an all-or-nothing type of gal.

I have stated this before but it tends to be something that I can’t avoid. I am not a fan of in-betweens, compromises, half-assed solutions, or the same shit every day. So I get going all great-guns, get excited and jump on my challenge and go ‘THAT IS IT I AM NEVER GOING TO LET SUGAR/DAIRY/COFFEE/ANYTHING GOOD PASS MY LIPS AGAIN DAMNIT. HEAR ME WORLD. THIS IS NOT A DRILL’.

And I convince myself that it is the best thing I can be doing (I’m very persuasive and also easily convinced by a smooth talker – the perfect combination to be lead astray by my-self) and tell anyone who will listen about why I’m doing, why it’s the best thing I can be doing ‘It’s not fucking rocket science man – it IS the right thing to do you know?’ and three months later and SO FUCKING BORED with the sound of my own proselytizing that I will catch and kill an Easter bunny just for his stash. And then the wheels are off baby – because if I’m going off the rails it better be worth it right?

So I am eating dairy, the occasional salad (ooooh yeah raw greens mmm), crunchy scratchy, apples – you name it – I’m a bad bitch rebel with no limits. yeah. And what it comes down to is that I did start the year off doing this for the right reasons, and I felt better – you remember I had more energy? and felt good pretty much every day and all of that stuff.

The seriously de-motivating bit is the complete lack of change in my skin, still red-faced and flakey, raw and prone to breakouts (and no weight loss whatsoever but I am trying not to think about that and I’m on the downhill to 40 so apparently that happens). Doesn’t seem fair really. It’s enough to drive a grrl back to drink.

Interestingly, aside from Gluten which I will never eat knowingly again, Alcohol is the only other one that I haven’t touched. That is becoming a personal point of pride. And actually – once you get past the first 7 days it ain’t no big thang. I am looking forward to my new year Cider date with Yas, and a good catch up over a glass of red (I might be salivating a teeny tiny bit) with my grrls one night, but I don’t miss hangovers, I don’t miss the anxiety from wondering if calling my sisters bosses wife a racist at dinner went too far (it did but she was and I’m not sorry) and I know that if I had kept the wine up I wouldn’t even have managed the 3.5 months of sugar-free-ness because hangovers.

I haven’t written for four days because I got my period. TMI. Whatevers you can handle it. But the reason I bring it up is because for the first part of the year I haven’t noticed them as big deals, I might be a bitch for a couple of days but I don’t remember particularly (you’d have to ask the GD and the little Dutchmen if that’s accurate of course). However this time though I had a low week.

A whole week of second-guessing myself, feeling like a whale, hatin’ on my legs, I was grumpier than the grumpy Dutchman (and that’s a feat) and I have had terrible bloating and pain since friday. Over-sharing too. That must be a side effect. And do you eat everything in sight when you are PMS-ing? I do. It’s like I’m loading up in order to, um, shed the excess. I am sure it was better without the sugar and coffee. I am sure I was nicer to my boys. And I know that I haven’t felt so unsure of myself in months. Maybe since last year.

So what to do about it? I don’t fucking know. I’m still ruminating on it. I’ll get back you when I have a plan.

152 – My jeans are judging me.

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After nearly two months of eating any-fucking-thing I want. It came to a head this morning after a walk in the beach. Gumboots, jeans and a giant jacket should have been perfect for the job but by the end of the (really lovely) walk I was feeling like I was in danger of being rolled back out to sea. Actively avoiding anybody with a ‘save the whales’ glint in their eye or Greenpeace bumper stickers on their car.

I know that this is mainly in my head – but unfortunately I am in my head too and I can’t escape it. So I might have finally found my resolve to get back on track properly – no folks not in fact for my health – but my vanity! Ha! After eating some chocolate to steel my nerves I got organised and cooked my lunch for tomorrow – random and varied vegetables from the fridge combined with salmon and an avocado to up the ‘good fat’ quota for my skin. I have just now joined Junk Free June – search for me as nzmockingbirdgrrl.com and feel free to donate to Cancer research – no pressure. I work well when I have an obligation or commitment outside of myself so hopefully it’ll be the push I need. If you are in NZ you should totally do it too – we can suffer together ha ha.

Tomorrow breakfast will be poached egg on toast and the wonderful, aromatic, best friend that is a hot flat white in a cold hand on a winter morning is hereby banished to the occasional Sunday morning treat. There is no escaping the 3pm slump when you are coming down from a decent coffee.

Good intentions. Meanwhile I am focussed on the good fun of meandering along the beach with the three Dutchmen and the dog this morning, and the joy that is a long weekend to ourselves to just hang out. We live in a beautiful part of the world.

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Day 81

Satisfying day. I got jobs done, saw family and managed to fold all of the laundry on the laundry couch! It is amazing to see the rest of the couch. The animals keep coming up and looking at it, sniffing it and then sidling up to it suspiciously – they see it so rarely. The lads immediately took to leaping off the top of the couch on to the floor or each-other. Only one of them bled. And it wasn’t for long.

After lazing in bed until 8am (8AM!) I got up and fed all of the children and fur-kids. Eventually fed myself and threw myself in the car to head up the hill to see my grandies. I can’t take the three Dutchmen with me at the moment because both are in a delicate state, so I left them at home ‘cleaning’ which I think mostly amounted to a marathon Lego session on the Music lounge floor.

Nana has dementia and since Christmas has been in care, currently in a nursing home with lovely staff and fellows oldies. Grandad moved in next door so he could be near her and visit but had a fall a couple of weeks ago, and then because of a brain bleed has had to have neurosurgery. He is in recovery and is doing very well but will need to move in with Mum when he has finished rehabilitation. Poor Mum and her man have been basically taking care of the two of them by themselves since before Christmas – Mum’s sisters do try to help but they don’t live in the same city so they are mostly moral support. Anyway – long story short I head up the hill to see them twice a week to try to give Mum the day off where I can.

I love going to see them – I used to drive the boys up to see them every school holidays – because they were up north it was harder to get to them regularly. This way they are only 40 mins away so I can hang with my fave oldies whenever I like in theory. Nana is funny. She has built quite a comfortable world in her head, based on actual events, twisted all out of reality and all stories end with people adoring her, or apologising to her for perceived slights, or recognising her essential ‘right-ness’. She has had some very bad moments, and has said terrible things (to poor Mum mostly) which is difficult for people to deal with but she is ok with me. We have always been each-others favourite person. I am prepared for her to not be alright with me and when she is I don’t take it personally because I can see she isn’t in control anymore. It’s mostly like visiting a toddler now.

Grandad on the other hand is a totally different man but in a good way – he finally gets to talk! Nana always did the talking for him or over him, and it is really cool to hang with him and have him so chatty. He has always been a voracious reader and I knew he KNEW stuff but he lost his sight about ten years ago and got depressed. The one good thing that has come out of this whole thing is that Grandad will get to have his own opinion for the rest of his life now. And he will be with people who can encourage him to learn new stuff again and open new doors for him technologically – My mum and her man are techy geeks.

So, a satisfying morning hanging with my oldies in their respective situations, assuring Nana that yes indeed Grandad is still alive and yes that’s where I was going next, Talking to Grandad about how we both really like Hospital food and ordering his meals for the next day. Eventually I had to jump back in my car and head home to see what state the house was in – The GD’s parents came around for dinner tonight and we needed the house CLEAN.

We did the mad as massive clean. I folded washing like a BOSS. I dusted shit like organised people do. I hung up dresses and ironed and got ‘work clothes’ sorted for the week. It was amazing. The GD vacuumed, and did dishes and helped the lads tidy up their toys. Then I made a delicious and healthy dinner for the in-laws and the kids ate it all! It was a miracle. Spicy fish fillets, steamed asian greens and homecut fries (parsnip, potatoes and kumara). Delish.

AND THEN. As if I am not awesome enough – I baked pizza wheels for Master 7’s lunches, and another batch of bliss balls. Fucking homemaker queen.

In other news, the re-introduced dairy has caused the skin on my face to get red and peel off all over the place. I am SO pretty right now. Dairy is definitely a no go.

Day 74 – preparation or bust

I am determined not to be caught short this week for food, so I spent this evening – until well after my bedtime prepping. I now have homemade capsicum and eggplant chutney, falafels, chicken poppers and boiled eggs all in the fridge waiting to be sorted in to lunchboxes for me and the fam. No fruit this week, just back to basics with cooked veges, meat and green tea. Green (vege only) smoothies for brekkies and homemade chicken stock in our cooking. Got to get back on an even keel if I am to beat this slump. I may even make bliss balls if I have the energy after school tomorrow – in between the exhaustion I am feeling inspired!

Now I must sleep. Monday (and cyclone Pam) awaits!

Day 49 – Hump day.

Today after a long day which included sitting on the motorway for the better part of two hours to visit Nana, I was in the stupidmarket shoe-less (blister from my heels) getting zucchini (which they didn’t bloody have – my kingdom for a courgette!) when a woman looked at my bare feet sideways. Apparently I have no filter when I’m tired because I turned around and said ‘Normally by now I’d have my bra off too!’. Choice.

I have leg aches…. running up and down my thighs and shins…. It turns out I wasn’t as clean and green as I thought I was because I may be experiencing withdrawal symptoms….. although withdrawal from what?

But it’s not all bad – I finally paid off two of my laybys and got a little retail therapy rush. I actually think it was better than a sugar rush. And I don’t say that lightly friends. But it really is a special feeling. Or maybe I’m just shallow!

Anyhoo – take care of y’all, this feels like a long week, but we only have two days to go!

Day 47 – what d’ya think of my tag cloud huh? huh?

Saucy huh? It’s taken me the better part of the evening to figure out how to do it, and I had to go through retrospectively to tag every post – and think of appropriate tags; ‘Prunes’ for example. That’s a good one.

The reason for my fancy techy pants this evening is the sharing – thanks for the blog sharing love guys. My clever friend Fee has suggested I have my own page on Facebook for me to share these posts too (partly so I don’t spam those that are not interested on my personal page) but also so you can find my posts if you wanna catch up. While I’m at it I will put in a plug for her page and business Shineon – she has some sweet new and vintage gears – check her out!

Today was the start of the clean green week with IQS, a mint mojito smoothie for breakfast which had me starving by 9am, luckily I had planned for this and had a lemon protein ball to take the edge off. Just another manic Monday.

I took Master 7 to school today so I could meet his teacher; new dude teacher, Master 7 is exhausted and I was worried that he didn’t ‘get’ my special  little flower. Of course Master 7 was embarrassed that I was there, but he showed me his cute little table and cute little bag hook. He tolerated a cuddle before I left but wouldn’t look at me the whole time. So awkward. (Mwaahaha evil Mum laugh).

I then ran home, past all the slow I-don’t-have-to-work-because-hubby’s-a-surgeon walkers (get out of the fucking way!), jumped in the car and sped off to work, arriving just in time to run to my office and realise I didn’t have my work keys. And that was how my day went really – running to the next thing, teaching in between meetings, lunch at my desk and running for the rest of the day. SUCH a relief to leave today.

Dinner was actually really nice – my homemade pesto with poached chicken and courgette ‘noodles’. I know. So HOT right now to have noodles that are actually just lengthways sliced veges. I am down bitches.

Clean green week is meant to be a ‘detox’ week because you cut out coffee and gluten (been there, done that y’all) and upsize the leafy greens portions. They also recommend a heap of supplements, and spirulina etc. Because I am not great with raw food, and currently have no money (you can ask the grumpy Dutchman about that – Didn’t he go to a stag do on the weekend you say? Why yes, yes he did) I will be playing it by ear. Will keep you updated!

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