200 – that’s a big number

I wish I could say that my experiment had been a solid 200 days of avoiding food that damaged my gut and that I have been doing Yoga and getting mindful daily and all that good stuff. Oh well. I have 165 days left to try.

This term my goal is to get back on track – and I feel like because we are heading back up to summer it will be easier to maintain some focus.

That is once I get some sleep and can actually function like human being. I did NOT sleep last night. I woke up hours before the alarm for boot-camp. I spent most of the night thinking about work and what I needed to do when I eventually got there. And of course it was a fine day. I have a lot to do – don’t we all – and didn’t get it all done today (tell ‘er she’s dreaming!) but  am back on track.

And there you go, back to school, back to work, back to sugar-free – back to routine. Time to lose this sugar belly and focus on some long-term goals (swim suits and short shorts in Australia for xmas for one thing!).

I tell you what I am enjoying – it’s a bit drippy and the GD will enjoy mocking me I am sure – but I was reading something random online and they mentioned an app called ‘Gratitude!’. Ha ha – I can already hear him groaning. It is simply a little digi diary for your phone or whatever that reminds you at regular intervals just to stop and record what you are grateful for. I’m only 4 days in and of course it doesn’t feel like a chore yet (I have the attention span of a toddler though so it’ll be interesting to see if I’m still going in a month). Practicing gratitude has got to be good for me eh. Even if it is just another exuse to play with my phone ha ha

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161 – Hump day happiness

Last night I accidentally shared my blog post to my Deaning cohorts facebook page. What a dick! And I didn’t notice until ONE OF MY STUDENTS ‘LIKED’ IT. Oh My God. I panicked immediately and deleted the post, and then promptly emailed the student because she’s cool and I needed to explain my ‘ghost post’. She had read it and liked it (phew) and thought it was hilarious that I had posted on the wrong page – but like I said she’s cool and I am not too worried that she will start cyber-stalking me or anything. Ha ha – like I’m that interesting – whatever miss! I am so thankful it wasn’t one of my more ‘sweary’ ones. But it did give me a good reminder that my posts are public and anyone – current students included – can read them. I am not sure how I feel about my students ‘reading me’…

But anyway, I deleted it and was all good and even though T had said that she thought the post was really interesting and that her peers would like to read it – because it is about school after all – I wasn’t tempted to repost deliberately ha ha. It didn’t even occur to me that anyone else had read it because T was the only one who had ‘liked’ it. Until I got back from lunch today to find an envelope under my door;

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And inside was a lovely ‘not sucky uppy at all’ (her words) letter from another one of my girls who had read the post and wanted to tell me how much she appreciated what I did for them all as Dean and stuff. I got all feely. I may have even had tears because I’m a big pussy. It was handwritten and everything. Do you know how rare it is for your average teenager to hold a pen? Let alone to know what to do with it? Pretty special guys.

It was one of a number of events that meant that Wednesday was totally worth getting out of bed for. It was in the top two of the top events – the other fantastic thing? Master Fours’ parent teacher night. His teachers LOVE his stinky little not-washed-often-enough-but-hey-it’s-good-for-his-immune-system ass. He is totally choice. Top of the class. Writing his name and studying bugs and leading enquiry. Colour me the proudest mum in town.

Add to the above a green smoothie from Kokako, a cool ass class with my year 9’s, catching up on various Deaning jobs, checking in with some of my mentees, a vigorous bootcamp session that included BOXING yay! and rediscovering a fave lippie and you can consider today a win.

Day 31 – Last day of the month!

It is the last day of the month! 31 good things for 31 days 🙂

  1. The I Quit Sugar dinner for tonight was great! Coconut cream and Tumeric chicken, Kale and Coriander Quinoa – YUM and the kids ate it!
  2. Bootcamp in the rain today – new location so we were nice and dry – fun times!
  3. More quality time with my Grandies. Nana has been moved to a Nursing home and although she isn’t happy it means she is in the same town as me so I can take her bacon sandwiches and visit Grandad next door in his place.
  4. The sun is rising later – I like to start the day in the dark – it’s nice to watch it rise, sets me up for the day.
  5. School is getting started – looking forward to seeing the girls in my cohort.
  6. Summer fruit.
  7. Hot days.
  8. Summer rain – cools the night down just perfectly.
  9. I know I complain – but school holiday hangs with the lads have been lovely.
  10. A new Niece! I might get to cuddle her soon.
  11. A new dress.
  12. And some new jewellery….
  13. A week in Christchurch without the family to just read books and hang out with my sister – bliss – I could have stayed longer!
  14. Getting my car fixed so it didn’t look quite so derelict.
  15. Alcohol free = clear head in the mornings.
  16. Swollen and sore tummy SO rare that I actually notice it as unusual.
  17. Waiheke Headlands Sculpture trail – Heat, Walking AND Art.
  18. Laneways 2015. People watching heaven.
  19. A friend’s wedding to look forward to ❤
  20. Molly in the bed purring in my side.
  21. Master 7 going to work with the Grumpy Dutchman and earning his keep painting with his dad and Opa, so proud of himself.
  22. First swim of the season.
  23. Friends being so supportive and accommodating of all of my ‘special needs’. I seriously and genuinely appreciate the lengths people have gone to.
  24. The acquisition of a new sculpture from an artist friend.
  25. New shoes. Shoes in general.
  26. Small boy cuddles.
  27. Small boy kisses.
  28. Quality time with my sexy man.
  29. Yoga 3 times a week. I’m getting there slowly…
  30. Breakfast dates with my grrls.
  31. My wonderful friends and family.

Phew! got a little hard in the middle there 🙂 31 turns out to be a lot.

Bring it on February!

Day 28 – Second proper day of work and the sugar cravings are back

I am tired man. Two full days of work and I’m shattered. I got home and immediately wanted to pick at sugary snacks. I had some Kombucha tea left in the fridge – but I have fallen in to the trap of thinking that because it’s the latest ‘health fix-all’ that it will be good for me – nope. 10mg of sugar. That’s heaps! So that’s out. Luckily – and I say this sincerely – there was nothing in the house that could break my resolve. I did eye the Nutella up. I spent many a good night with a jar of Nutella and a spoon believe me! But it is not Gf so it’s out and to be honest it wasn’t that tempting.

So the plan is to focus on the good things that happened today, feel tired, and go to bed early. Lot’s of good things happened in the last two days;

  • I finally figured out how to add another page to my blog. (Actually Kylee showed me – she’s way more bloggy than me – thanks Kylee!)
  • I have seen a big bunch of my girls today; feeling positive and looking forward to starting the year.
  • I got to cuddle a beautiful two week old baby boy. Nawwww baby snuggles.
  • It is nice to see all of my work colleagues looking so refreshed and relaxed as we start the year. All summer tans and smiles.
  • Boot camp was good this morning – and it was great to watch the sun rise.
  • I got a parcel in the mail. Yay for shoes arriving via post!
  • I finally have a right hand side indicator on my car.
  • The GD suggested watching 22 Jump st again tonight. Oh Channing.

And on that note – I am signing off!

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Day 25 and 26 – The golden days of summer

I have had a wonderful couple of days, the last few days of freedom before school kicks in and I hit the ground running – so expect my posts to slow down too after this…

Is there anything better than catching up with friends in the sun having a BBQ? I think not. In the ’round’ of BBQ’s that we are doing with our friends, it was our turn yesterday. It was so nice to fill our back courtyard up with folks and just hang out and laugh and chat. And because we are grownups now our BBQ’s don’t just consist of DRINKING with some burned sausages as an afterthought. And remember how awkward and non-drinking I felt at the last one? None of that this time – it has been enough time now that I didn’t feel like I was missing out. And I went to the fancy health shop in the morning and threw some ‘Kombucha’ in the trolley on my travels – to try it out – I don’t know if it breaks the no sugar rule – I couldn’t see sugar in the ingredients and I know it’s meant to be good for the gut, so I had that in a wine glass with ice – YUM.

We made our usuals, but the highlight for me was dessert! I made rainbow fruit skewers with raspberries for everyone else and Melissa made delicious, Gf, Df AND sugar free cheesecakes! YUM. especially for my special needs, and she messaged and checked ingredients and tried really hard to get coeliac safe nuts and everything. I was really touched, so thoughtful, and the best part was that they were DELICIOUS.

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I officially started the iQS today. I did the food shop saturday, combined with our normal hopping and it was wee bit more than usual, but it that was because there were a few things for baking etc to last me the eight weeks. So next time should be cheaper! The way it works is that you get the shopping list and recipes on the thursday, and you do a bake and prep for the week on the sunday, and then follow the recipe plan for the week! Easy peasy. And in typical me style I got it all sorted, did the baking and make the chia pudding and cooked the quinoa etc Only to discover this morning that I don’t like the chia pudding (although that may be a lack of yoghurt more than anything so I’m going to get coconut yoghurt – Sf and DF – to see if that helps). And I thought I would try to be positive, so I tried the Buckwheat loaf – and that was gross too. Sad face. The plan is to message the iQS folks tomorrow to ask if there is any GF bread on the market that has the required lack of sugar….

My Chia puddig in the nifty travel pot I bought yesterday - that the grumy Dutchman broke doing the dishes this morning - figures!
My Chia puddig in the nifty travel pot I bought yesterday – that the grumy Dutchman broke doing the dishes this morning – figures!

The rest of the recipes look really good though – I am optimistic – and most of them look like meals the rest of the family will like too. I do like that the thought has been taken out for me, nothing to have to think about while school is starting up again and taking up all of my brain!

And I went to Laneways today, sober, and without really knowing any of the bands except for Courtney Barnett who I wanted to see. I was determined to not get hungry (although I think I have mentioned I don’t so much these days?) So I packed a yummy lunch, check it out below. I had to tell the guy at the gate that I had Coeliacs to be let I with my food but he was super fine about it so that was good!

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Chicken poppers, Baby spinach, Boiled eggs, Hummus, Falafels, Cherry tomatoes and (naughty raw) Carrots

It was so good hanging with my grrl Yas and her man Matt. It def helps to know people who know people – we didn’t have to line up for the loos – we just borrowed their friends backstage pass and ducked through to clean portaloos, I actually stood a metre away from Courtney Barnett – but was too chicken to tell her it was a great show – what a dick ha ha. It was a chilled day of people watching, sitting in spots and watching the world go by, soaking up the sun and sounds and bumping into randoms from my present and my past. Such a nice way to end the holidays! But of course now I’m home and trying to work out getting to school by eight am to do everything I need to and I need to go to bed (yawn). Catch you soon, have a good week at work y’all!

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Day 14, Coffee – sort of, last day with Dave (and my Sis) and I get to see my little men!

photo 1 (9)Today was my last day in Christchurch, and Kris took the afternoon off to hang with me, so we went to the cafe that Cath had taken me to for lunch, The Herb centre Dispensary – because I was having a massive sugar craving and I knew they did no-refined-sugar desserts….

Before you throw your hands in the air aghast and lose all my faith in my hard-core stickability you’ll be pleased to know that once we got there I decided against any dessert/cake/slice no matter how sketchily it fit into my gut healing restrictions. When they take the refined sugar out it usually means that they are using dried fruit or honey as a sweetener (nothing artificial because it was wholefoods central) both are off the books for now. I had been all excited but once I got there decided that it wasn’t worth starting again – especially with the leg aches – and thought I would treat myself to a DECAF, rice milk Flat White. Yes I said it. And I know this is not a ‘real coffee’ (Kylee) and I would have been scoffing and throwing my hands up in the air as well – for fucks sake I won’t even drink Starbucks coffee (because it’s gross duh) – but I really felt like I had to try it. And surprise surprise it tasted like coffee. So much so – and the with the consequent speedy feeling I had afterwards – I think she slipped me real caffeine man. There was some confusion with me ordering because initially I hadn’t realised I could have a fakey fakey coffee, so I ordered tea. Then I realised and went back and I think it was all too much. So although it had rice milk – you could taste that – I think I got caffeined. Well, my mouth still feels weird anyway, and I’m still up and it’s 11.30pm oh my god.

Anyway, I got to the plane having only had a smoothie between lunch and flying so was starving, no snacks on me and nothing to buy, nothing to do but suck it up – cue stomach pains etc – but I know you ‘normals’ get that too when you starve yourself so nothing interesting there!

On the plane I was sitting between two dudes, who I thought were really old then realised I was probably within ten years of age with them and felt OLD, and of course they sat with their legs wide open and reclined right back and basically claimed all of the plane to themselves. Fuck that shit. I pushed my elbows out, reclined, dropped my knees, put my headphones on and raised my book. Ain’t no way you gonna encroach upon this hangry mamabears plane space motherfucker.

Flight was otherwise uneventful; no nice air host person I don’t want the teeny tiny cookie time (boo hoo) or the horrible GF (suspect) vege chips, nor do I want a perculator coffee (YES I DO DAMNIT) and thank you but no I don’t want the boiled sweetie to help my ears pop. So many lies. I wanted ALL of the boiled sweeties. I wanted to fill my overstuffed and threatening to burst carry on luggage with them. But I am very restrained and my willpower is great. or some shit.

I was sad to be leaving Dave and Kris, but pleased to be coming home to my little lads – it was SO good to see Master 7 standing right at the gate when I came through – but ssshhhhhh don’t tell them – Mama could have stayed another couple of days reading my books and mooching about and coped quite well…

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Day Twelve – headaches and cold weather…

Urg. Sugar withdrawal is kicking in. And the Dairy and Sugar from Saturday night has manifested itself in a rash or red bumps/pimple things on my neck and shoulder and my face is SOOOO red. Feel pretty gross. So not pretty right now.

And on top of it all I have had a headache alllllllllllll day that I couldn’t shake. The sky is grey and it was cold too. I think the weather affects me more than I’d like. I don’t cope with grey skies very well.

On the positive – I had a lovely visit with my friend Cath and her two little lasses – they are super cutie cute and we had a lovely FREEZING walk round the Botanical gardens. I was going to go to Sumner and show myself around but it was too cold and I ended up in the mall….. I will try again tomorrow.

To try to ‘re-set’ I made us a delicious dinner – stir fried chicken and assorted veges. And I am currently fighting very strong cravings to eat ALL the fruit in the house. No fruit for me…. I need to get through the headaches and out the other side…..

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Day four. Summer BBQ with friends and not drinking today

So I know I’ve been pregnant twice, and both times it was through some summer months, and we hung out with our friends and went to BBQ’s and all the time I wasn’t drinking. Well duh. And it SO wasn’t hard. No I mean it – I know some of my friends have really suffered a lot of summer envy with the whole not-drinking-cos’-I’m-making-a-person thing and couldn’t wait for the little person to come shooting out their vaginas into nappies and their cot to blissfully sleep while Mummy had a cool, crisp glass of wine….. but not me. I couldn’t even look at booze for the first four months of both pregnancies and that was enough to flick the switch. It was like I was a beer/wine virgin and didn’t know how good it was – therefore didn’t miss – to sit in the sun with friends and relax over a cold one.

Today felt different. And obvs it was different from being pregnant in a myriad of ways – I didn’t have to avoid the seafood and wasn’t able to balance my glass on my belly (although close!), the grumpy Dutchman wasn’t wringing his hands with future worry about money and being awake all night with ANOTHER baby (why?! why would you?! he ask me every time I mention maybe having a third child). And it was different from all those times I have done the Febfast or similar too.

This time, I couldn’t replace my drink with juice or fizzy drink – because no sugar. I wasn’t eating fruit or snacking away like crazy on cheese and crackers – because none of those things either. And I wasn’t socially smoking to keep my hands busy because DUH year of HEALTH. And actually I noticed today that the GD is the only one of the group still smoking – must be time to give it up babe!

I drank 1.5 litres of sparkling water though. I pissed like a pregnant woman. And I thought about wine A LOT. And Beer. And Cider. And all those cold delicious summer beverages. Oh how I wanted one. And I told myself that this time next year I would have one and goddamnit it would be good. I only ate the food we brought with us because I’m special needs – and I felt terrible because our friends are lovely and had made an effort to find GF treats that I could have too – so for the sake of full disclosure I will admit to having some corn chips (scratchy/crunchy) that Bruce and Ildi got specifically for me because they were GF. Our hosts made an effort too to keep the GF sausages separate right up until they got on to the BBQ when Mark forgot but he told me straight away and it was super fine because the GD had smoked a salmon to take with us and I was all over that ha ha.

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We have a smoker and the GD does a really delicious smoked salmon, so we took that and my roasted vege salad and chips and sausies for the little lads. Our friends have a really cool house with multiple decks that all get the sun and our kids and the four dogs all ran around and had a cool ass time.

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Although I have to say, that being sober and not at all ‘relaxed’ with a drink meant that I noticed when the lads were not behaving like perfect angels and probably got on their asses more than they liked.

The up side of not drinking; I am not falling asleep on the couch right now (it’s 7.30pm) and I have a clear head. I know that drinking all of that water could have only been a good thing. If not for my bladder. I did not say stupid things to my friends that I need to wake up and have a panic about the next day. I am giving my liver a break. No useless calories/sugar. And I wont feel like shite for boot camp tomorrow morning at 5.30am.

Yes you read correctly. Bootcamp has started and the alarm is set for 5.30 AM.

Wish me luck!