Day 38 – The beast is awakening.

I ate half a pineapple today. I picked fights with the family. I lay down for a nap and didn’t sleep because nobody would leave me the fuck alone. No I don’t want a cuddle goddamnit. The boys were so scratchy and irritable that I won’t be surprised if Master four bleeds before me. The grumpy Dutchman lived up to his name. Our cycles are synced. All four of us and three of them have no uterus.

Probably yoga would have helped? Nah – I would have been dangerous around all those heavy breathers and grunters. No patience for ponsnobby wankery today mister. But our family bike ride was really good and I was able to drag my sorry ass up the hill – with the extra weight of master 4 on the bike – and that felt good.

No Ma’am, it ain’t no fun being a woman on the eve; I have a sore tummy – admittedly that could be the pineapple that I’m not supposed to be eating – I am cranky, I am hard to live with and there is no chocolate in the vicinity.

But, you know, at least I’m not pregnant!

Day 29 – Yin

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Today I realised that I must be PMSing because when I got home I ate everything. I walked around eating as I did chores; I cooked dinner and ate peanut butter on carrots as I chopped veges and marinated the lamb. It seemed to hit me all of a sudden; I wasn’t so hungry at work but I don’t know whether to blame my swollen and achey belly on the salad I had for lunch (Raw = bad) or the fact that I’m to be reminded of all the glories of womanhood any day now. I also have the skin of a hormonal teenager. Again. oh the joys.

The iQS program is going well so far, not so much that I don’t know, but the change in meals is nice and I like not having to think! Tonight I made Mediterranean Lamb – and it was so Yum. We had to have it Dairy free of course – and the lack of feta really took the greek out – but it was still a win! (The boys didn’t eat the rocket but they ate everything else – still not convinced with ‘leaves’).

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And the really nice thing was that because it wasn’t a full day at work I got home a little after four and we were having dinner by 5:30.

I tried ‘Yin’ yoga tonight. A 7:30 class which went for an hour, and it went a little over so I was driving home in the dusk which was very peaceful. Have your tried Yin? It is intense. It’s not a warm room – in fact she had to have the aircon on to get rid of the heat from the previous Bikram class – but I was sweating.

Basically you get yourself into ‘stretching’ type positions and then you sit there. And sit, and sink into it and just hang out. And she plays restful music. And encourages you to find a comfortable place for you and to make your own adjustments and all of that. And meanwhile, inside your head, you are screaming. Because OH MY GOD. The first few were okay – I mean everyone else had their heads touching the floor and I could barely get my chin on my chest but, you know, I was ‘finding a comfortable place for me’.  And then we did stuff to ‘open our hips’ and oh boy. Each stretch was held for about 5 mins. Try doing anything even a teeny tiny bit uncomfortable for five minutes. I thought I was going to have to get her to untangle me because I was so stiff. At one point I was a wee bit distracted because I could hear my phone, through the door to the studio and down the hall, going off for my eight o’clock alarm. I may have fucked with a few people’s bliss.

Mmmmm Lamb for lunch tomorrow.