254 – I actually WENT for a run!

Not on Thursday morning as planned. Oh no. I slept in that day. And. it. was. good. But last night I went to bed at 7.30pm. Yes that’s right. I am a big Nana-pants and I actually went to bed before my children last night. In fact the youngest spied me in bed and I had to barricade myself in and refuse entry otherwise I would have had yet another night of NO sleep.

Thursday night I was pushed out of bed by the three Dutchmen and went to the couch where I thought I might get some sleep. It was not to be so. Apparently my body is exactly the right place to stage an all out cat war if you need to. All night baby-cat was launching attacks on Mollycat and Mollycat was growling like a fucking doberman. It was also the night the heavens opened right over our house. Rain, children and cats – I’m sorry Mummy did you want to sleep? Really?

Anyway, an early bedtime last night proved to be exactly what I needed to leap out of bed this morning to run around the neighbourhood with my two lads – one furry the other on a bike. It was REALLY Good! It was so nice to be running along chattering with my little lad, talking about nothing and everything, him complaining about the cold (He needs ‘glubs’ tomorrow morning) and my knee lasting the distance ok.  – hopefully we will go again.

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The rest of the day has gone well too. I took the lads plus one to the zoo to meet with a friend and her two little people and we had a lovely stroll following the kids around – what an amazing day! Cold but sunny – Spring is coming!


So apart from an emergency trip up to Orewa this evening to see Nana (I got the call that she was threatening to self -harm but she had just run out of chocolate and was panicking – I’ve got to take after someone!) It has been a really good day.

I feel like I am on track for my new short and long term goals. They are a whole new post on their own though, stay tuned…


I’ve had three nights in a row of this;

How to get a better nights sleep

It’s amazing how many knees and elbows two small boys have. And the HEAT they generate! Neither sleeps with the blanket on them, they kick it off constantly, and because I have to be in the middle or they fight I end up freezing. Or swimming in a pool of sweat because they are pressed up against me like little human heaters. Either way I am AWAKE. ALL night.

Because the youngest child is waking up so early at the moment – like seriously early – he sits up at 4am and I have to talk him back to sleep because otherwise he gets up to watch DVD’s – he is falling asleep on the couch by about 6pm. And because he’s going to sleep on the couch at about 6pm – he’s waking up really early – like 4am. It’s a vicious circle.

I spend all night taking lads to the loo, throwing fighting cats out of the room and trying to go to sleep in different spots (like the couch or the bottom bunk or the foot of the bed longways) but the boys have this sixth sense where they can pinpoint the EXACT moment when I am just beginning to fall asleep again and they appear beside me asking to climb in to where I have moved to. Mostly I am already awake when the youngest wakes up at 4am.

I am incapable of coherent thought. It’s like someone filled my head with pink fluffies. All I can do is obsess about Miss Crabb pants and coffee.

Seriously how cool are these pants?

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Doesn’t matter. I can’t afford them. But you know what they say. Actually I can’t remember what they say because my brain is not braining. But I do know that’s its Friday tomorrow. Fuck yeah.

120 – Mindfulness tonight

Did you know that I have been awake from 5am until now (and it’s currently 10.30pm). I know this is not a big deal for ‘normals’ but jebus it’s a big deal for me. 4 months ago I would have been asleep at 9 tonight and I would have been exhausted. I would never have been contemplating getting up at 5.30 tomorrow morning to go for a run (only thinking about it mind you). I would never have signed up for a course that started at 7 fucking 30 at night! That’s way late au!

But I’m doing it. And I feel good motherfuckers. This is the thing that I can say when people say ‘SO do you feel any better? Like, it is even WORTH it to not eat food all the time?’ Instead of punching them in the face. Because you know, I’m not violent. Use your words Kathleen. I was talking to a friend over coffee (and, ahem, our TAI’s) this morning. She is currently severely low in iron due to a couple of things and is working on turning it around – but she, like me previously, has always had low iron. I don’t anymore. This is weird for me because I have ALWAYS had low iron. Like, under 10 low. Like ‘How are you even getting out of bed in the morning?!’ low. And the only thing I can attribute my energy levels and new ability to stay up past 5 in the evening is my iron levels – they MUST be up! Yay!

I was told, when I got my Coeliacs diagnosis, that going gluten-free would mean all that stuff that was bothering me (or not in my case because remember I am a ‘silent coeliac’ meaning I have little to no outward symptoms) would disappear. In fact, of course this turned out to be the opposite and I had two years of discomfort, weight gain, really scarily low iron levels and general disappointment in my ‘recovery’. Going gluten-free wasn’t enough for my system to start healing and allowing my ‘villi’ to do their job and absorb all the iron and other shit from my food. But guess what bitches? It seems to be working now!

SO, in some ways it sucks because it backs up the theory that I should keep all the yummy delicious stuff out of my diet for a while – because it’s clearly working BUT it is cool because it reminds me that the suffering (ha ha can you hear the tiny violin?) is worth it. And that maybe I am on the up.

Tres motivating.

And you know what else? The mindfulness course is really interesting too! It is right up my alley. I feel like a lot of what we talk about is what I would be trying to do instinctively in my every day life but the course is giving me much more elegant and articulate ways to do so. I am a big fan. Mindfulness is very rock and roll.

And on that note, I’m off to practice my power poses.

Northern Mockingbird

Day 54 – tired pants.


Normally I wake up about 15 minutes before my alarm goes off in the morning and I lie awake mentally prepping for the day, that way too, when I get to boot camp I am pretty awake and able to appreciate the beautiful morning.

Not so this morning. I woke up ten minutes before the alarm, checked my phone and decided to lie there as per. I fell in to a DEEP deep sleep and got the fright of my life when my alarm went off. And I will confess, I rolled over and seriously thought about hitting snooze. This is very unlike me. I am not bragging – I am just a morning person and totally fine with that.

And with being a ‘morning person’ comes with its opposite and equal personality trait – not being a night owl. I am always the first person to bed. Sometimes I even beat my kids. I have been known to leave the room at my own birthday party to put myself to bed (although drink usually plays a part there too) and the holidays have been playing havoc with my sleep patterns. I am shattered. Knackered. F.Ucked.

But it has been a good day otherwise. My Miss Crabb dress arrived in the mail (trademe don’t panic babe, vintage and real silk!) and I LOVE it. I admit I am a bit of a ‘collector’ and my treats these days can’t be food so I am finding my pleasures elsewhere.

Like Mr Wilde says ‘You can never be over-dress or over-educated’ my peeps.

Sleep well!

Day 36 – tracking progress

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Tracking two ways. On Thursday the 8 week program sends out the shopping list for the following week, the recipe plan, the ‘sunday cook up’ instructions and then handy hints and suggestions for movement and whatever else they can think of. It is good – and quite fun to go through the next week’s plan.

This week their ‘To do’ was the measurement thing. Body cms and weight. And they recommended going to the doc to get all the bloods done – but of course I did that about 25 days ago… I am going to wait until tomorrow morning – I think I ate half my body weight in beef fajitas on delicious coriander salad tonight (and bonus – the boys didn’t want their ‘burned’ – actually ‘charred – corn so I go to eat that too!). Did I mention I am eating my own weight in food every day at the moment? weirdly no snacking between meals – and no really big portions but I feel like I’m eating ALL the time. PMSing so that doesn’t help – gotta fuel up beforehand I guess – keep up my strength.

So in the morning I will take all my measurements – as per the iQS program request – and will weigh myself (dirty word) and put it somewhere safe. Then apparently the iQS will instruct us all to do it again in four weeks – then at the end. they want us to take photos to comapare and contrast but fuck that. I am not photogenic at the best of times – let alone in me knickers.

And, I got a fitbit today. After asking around and seeing what other folks had, and then going in and trying on the seemingly best two – the ‘fitbit’ and the ‘Jawbone’ – I decided on the fitbit because it was sleeker and I didn’t like the way the Jawbone sat up on the underside of my wrist – also yucky pattern on top – bad design. The fitbit I chose is Navy and is sleek on my wrist, I even reckon it will fit under my watch. And I got one not to track my steps although that seems to be its main draw, but to track my SLEEP. Because I am interested in how much I am actually awake at night vs how much I think I am awake at night. So. Who wants to bet I get over it in a week? I hope not.

Oh and I forgot to say that i can sync it up to this blog and have it post my activity once a week. But Nah. this is more of an experiment for myself and it’s totes narcissistic to think people wanna see that shit ha ha

So that’s me today. Very glad it’s a long weekend this weekend – Friday off yeeeah. I love me a good stat holiday. But I do feel sorry for the harassed working parents. You only just got rid of your kids and then we hand them back for you to parenting on a week day. The cheek.