Day 24 – emergency lunchbox success!

Today we went to Waiheke Island to walk the Headlands Sculpture trail and I panicked about food. The boys were easy – sandwiches and muesli bars and fruit – but we needed to food shop and weren’t planning on doing so until after we got back from the Island – so none of my usuals were in the fridge – I couldn’t cook myself something quickly.  Or could I?

Quite proud of this one – GF,SF, DF (and everything else free) Falafels!

photo 1 (12) photo 3 (7) photo 2 (12)Success! All I had to do was add water, fry in avocado oil and bing bang falafels! Throw in some cherry tomatoes (because I refuse to give them up), a boiled egg and hummus for dipping and we were away. And it was perfect – They kept me full all day; something to remember for packed lunches. I always buy a box thinking we can have a ‘meat free’ night but I know the lads aren’t keen so they sit there – this is a much better way to eat them.

Trying not to think about what was actually in them instead of all the stuff they took out – but in the absence of being able to eat raw veges and fruit I am ok with them for now.

And in updates of how I am feeling/doing with the whole ‘eating to heal’ thing. Well – I am not craving junk anymore – which is great – and my willpower feels really strong in terms of not actually feeling any desire to eat sugary treats or cheesey things when they are offered. I definitely don’t feel all ‘poor me I am missing out’ like I was, and today I even said to the grumpy Dutchman that I hadn’t predicted there’d be a day when him buying me a bottle of sparkling water (for the fizz) while they all had ice-creams still felt like a treat and it the spot! funny!

I tend to still wander to the fridge randomly but I open it now and think ‘am I bored or hungry?’ and mostly I’m bored – I am amazed at how long I can go now between meals without being hungry. I feel like I’m re-setting back to my ‘natural’ eating state; instead of being driven by a low or high from sugar.

The funny thing is that I have to figure out other ways to celebrate small victories or even silly things like getting to go to the stupidmarket by myself – quiet time for mummy – normally I would get me a little treat and eat it in the car on the way home but there is nothing I can have. After a day like today, with a particularly hard session of boot camp in the morning, then stomping up and down hills in the hot sun all day I would normally ‘reward’ myself for my hard work with a glass of wine (or 3) and I have been trying to think of other ways – and all I feel like doing is crawling in to bed because my legs ache! ha ha. Is this what getting old feels like?

All the books say to replace food treats/rewards with ‘time’. Whether it be reading a book, going for a walk, a yoga session, the point is to nourish your spirit instead of your stomach to replace the emotional crutch. Or some shit. But if you are already ‘time poor’ in terms of alone time (what parent of kids that still live at home ever get ‘alone time’?!) What can you do?

I’ll have to get back to you on that one.

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Day 19 – settling the butterflies

Boot camp didn’t hurt so bad this morning. It helps that I’m a nosy bitch and a new woman started this morning and I coulda sworn I knew her. But…. She could have also have been off Shortland st or something. I’m always asking people where I know them from only to discover that I’m talking to an All Black or a ‘world famous in NZ’ actor or similar. Embarrassing. So I didn’t say Hi, for fear of being a dick… just watched all covertly and stalkerly and probably she won’t be back because of the creep in the fluro orange top…

It was boxing this morning and I was paired up with Simon which was good because he works hard and although he declined to ‘knock me off my feet’ as requested by the instructor (ha ha Nicole), he doesn’t hold back. And for the first time in four days I don’t hurt sitting down and standing up again – yay! Getting back in to the swing of things again and it feels good.

This post isn’t about food, although Alissa and I went to Kokako – a cafe I had forgotten about but it’s a Gf and DF gem and I totally recommend it – it is more about being good to yourself and balancing work/fun/relaxing to relieve the tension. I have had butterflies in my gut for the last few days and it isn’t helped by some unhappy results for my senior girls. It was getting worse and I know the only thing that can help – work. Sorting out the year ahead and shooing out the butterflies. But I’m gonna ease my way in to it.

So today Master 7 and I went to work for the first three hours of the day. He sat in the meeting room and got completely screen stoned on Minecraft videos (7 year old heaven) while I went though the piles of paper on my desk. All I managed to do today was sort paper but it was a start – and my office mate will be pleased when I finally clear some of the junk. And tomorrow I will go in and delete emails. ALL the emails. I get a ‘your outlook is full’ message EVERY day. I’m not even exaggerating. It takes hours to do even make a dent. Hours.

And then, after a lovely lunch and catch up, me and the boy went to the beach. Just us, no phones or distractions, just me and the dude. We built a sand castle, I sat on the beach and watched him frolic, I sun bathed, and paddled and eventually (once the tide came in) went in the water and had my first swim of the season. I know – but better late than never. It was bliss. The water was so warm and the sun was so hot and there was hardly anyone else there because it was a week day. So we are going to do it every day this week; we might even invite the grumpy Dutchman and the littlest dude, but maybe we won’t because all of us together can start to fuck with my bliss.

It was a reminder that part of my ‘Year of health’ is also the stress relieving, the work life balance, and taking time out. I needed to go to work for my sanity, but I can keep my own hours this week and balance is the key. I need to hang with my little men – preferably one at a time so I don’t lose my mind – and believe it or not this is all good for my gut.

So if you are looking for me any afternoon this week, you’ll find me lying around on the beach getting my tan on, maybe reading my book, but mostly watching master 7 make friends with all the kids on the beach and enjoying this amazing summer.

Take care of you.

Day ten – 29 degrees in Christchurch today

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  • I fell of the sugar wagon today. Deliberately and with forethought.
  • and the Dairy wagon (but it was an accident).
  • Lack of exercise too, although went for multiple ‘waddles’ with me sis’ (she waddles and I walk slowly next to her).
  • It was hot and we toured through Lyttelton and the port hills.
  • I am not beating myself up about the sugar – the restaurant was fancy and the dessert was DF and GF. And I reminded myself that I am starting the ‘I quit sugar’ program on the 22nd. But that this is not an excuse to go cray cray until then. A simple blip. But I ain’t gonna kill myself man, the dessert was goooood.
  • I have read three books since I got here.
  • Bliss.

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Day Seven, flying away to the flatlands

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Evening,

I write this from the broad expanses of my sisters giant counch, in her giant lounge, to the wet crunchy soundtrack of her Boxer dog Dave masticating a chew toy. I am SOOOOOO full because we checked out a GF (coeliac friendly) Fish and Chip shop down here and it was YUM. The house is quiet and modern and Master chef is entertaining us….. and I am thinking about the crunchy bits left in the chip wrapper…

I always forget how flat Christchurch is until I get here and now am faced with the daunting task of jumping in Kris’s car tomorrow and finding my way around – with no one landmark to point myself at I will be relying heavily on GPS to help me. We made a pitstop at the stupidmarket for me to fill up with veges and supplies – I am going to make Kris the chicken ‘poppers’ for dinner one night because I am excited about them ha ha. I grabbed almond milk etc and will be making smoothies for us for breakie tomorrow too – sorted.

Bootcamp this morning, and then a lovely walk through the forest near the sister’s house with her dog to show me the ropes. I won’t be bootcamping/yoga-ing for the next seven days but WILL be dog walking, sunbathing and reading lots of books.

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Ahhhhh Blisss.

You might hear from me over the next few days…. but then again you might not 😉

Day four. Summer BBQ with friends and not drinking today

So I know I’ve been pregnant twice, and both times it was through some summer months, and we hung out with our friends and went to BBQ’s and all the time I wasn’t drinking. Well duh. And it SO wasn’t hard. No I mean it – I know some of my friends have really suffered a lot of summer envy with the whole not-drinking-cos’-I’m-making-a-person thing and couldn’t wait for the little person to come shooting out their vaginas into nappies and their cot to blissfully sleep while Mummy had a cool, crisp glass of wine….. but not me. I couldn’t even look at booze for the first four months of both pregnancies and that was enough to flick the switch. It was like I was a beer/wine virgin and didn’t know how good it was – therefore didn’t miss – to sit in the sun with friends and relax over a cold one.

Today felt different. And obvs it was different from being pregnant in a myriad of ways – I didn’t have to avoid the seafood and wasn’t able to balance my glass on my belly (although close!), the grumpy Dutchman wasn’t wringing his hands with future worry about money and being awake all night with ANOTHER baby (why?! why would you?! he ask me every time I mention maybe having a third child). And it was different from all those times I have done the Febfast or similar too.

This time, I couldn’t replace my drink with juice or fizzy drink – because no sugar. I wasn’t eating fruit or snacking away like crazy on cheese and crackers – because none of those things either. And I wasn’t socially smoking to keep my hands busy because DUH year of HEALTH. And actually I noticed today that the GD is the only one of the group still smoking – must be time to give it up babe!

I drank 1.5 litres of sparkling water though. I pissed like a pregnant woman. And I thought about wine A LOT. And Beer. And Cider. And all those cold delicious summer beverages. Oh how I wanted one. And I told myself that this time next year I would have one and goddamnit it would be good. I only ate the food we brought with us because I’m special needs – and I felt terrible because our friends are lovely and had made an effort to find GF treats that I could have too – so for the sake of full disclosure I will admit to having some corn chips (scratchy/crunchy) that Bruce and Ildi got specifically for me because they were GF. Our hosts made an effort too to keep the GF sausages separate right up until they got on to the BBQ when Mark forgot but he told me straight away and it was super fine because the GD had smoked a salmon to take with us and I was all over that ha ha.

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We have a smoker and the GD does a really delicious smoked salmon, so we took that and my roasted vege salad and chips and sausies for the little lads. Our friends have a really cool house with multiple decks that all get the sun and our kids and the four dogs all ran around and had a cool ass time.

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Although I have to say, that being sober and not at all ‘relaxed’ with a drink meant that I noticed when the lads were not behaving like perfect angels and probably got on their asses more than they liked.

The up side of not drinking; I am not falling asleep on the couch right now (it’s 7.30pm) and I have a clear head. I know that drinking all of that water could have only been a good thing. If not for my bladder. I did not say stupid things to my friends that I need to wake up and have a panic about the next day. I am giving my liver a break. No useless calories/sugar. And I wont feel like shite for boot camp tomorrow morning at 5.30am.

Yes you read correctly. Bootcamp has started and the alarm is set for 5.30 AM.

Wish me luck!

New Years Eve

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So, tomorrow I start my ‘Year of Health’. I have been boiling bones and veges for the past three days to make the ‘bone broth’ (stock) that I am experimenting with – the house already smells delicious so thats a plus! Over the past few weeks I have made peace with the fact that I will not be drinking – at all – for the year – not for Birthday drinks, no ‘thank fuck it’s friday’ drinks, no ‘the kids are being babysat and Mummy’s going to let her hair down’ drinks and not for our friends wedding coming up in February. And so far, it feels positive. The fact that my skin is the most sensitive it has been, my belly looks 6 month preggers half the time and that random and unrelated food can give me terrible stomach pain is a BIG motivating factor. After I got diagnosed with Coeliacs in september 2012 and went gluten free I thought things could only get better right? Well so far so much worse. Including slow, seemingly uncontrollable, constant weight gain which is really getting me down – no matter how much I exercise. But the good news is that this is not unusual and that I can help myself.

I have only gone half arsed about it before now, so I have decided to spend the whole year doing everything I have been advised to do – I am an all-or-nothing type of person, my tattoos are a good example of that ha ha – and I guess this blog will be my way of being accountable to myself. Next week I will see the doctor and get a complete WOF – see what my gluten levels are like and everything else, and will check in four times thoughout the year. I start Yoga tomorrow again after letting that interest fade away in March last year.

So I don’t know how interesting this will be to anybody else ha ha, I’ll post recipes that work well for me and reccomendations of sites that I follow that are useful too. Have a great New Years Eve – stay safe and don’t make any resolutions you can’t keep!