109 – Procrastinate, Procrastinate, Procrastinate

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Yes. I am blogging instead of writing lessons for tomorrow and planning my week. Why? Fuck knows! It would make sense for me to be doing the work that needs to be done but I just can’t seem to commit to something so sensible. As a consequence I have done anything but prepare for work tomorrow. I visited Nana and Mum yesterday, I folded the entire pile of washing that covered the laundry couch and overflowed in to the basket, I have been to be ‘scanned’ as a volunteer for my friend who is training to be a Sonographer – she asked me yesterday during Boot-camp and I thought of all the work I had to do and said ‘Sure!’. Check out my super healthy Liver – clearly the four months of no drinking or anything else fun has had some good side effects! (at least she told me it looked good who knows!)

I have cleaned the fridge (this is major procrastination behaviour) and I have re-stocked the food supplies. Food shopping with two small boys is usually a struggle but today they outdid themselves. The GD had to work – at least that’s what he said he was doing…. Anyway, I had to brave the food shop with the kids by myself and we had to get everything – a real ‘from the bottom up’ shop so it was massive.

Everywhere I turned was either a current student ‘Hi Miss Becker!’ or a former student working the aisles or checkout and it was like the mini Dutchmen knew they had an extra special audience. If they weren’t singing at the top of their lungs, crying or weaving in and out of the trolley traffic at speed, they nagged me for anything and everything they saw. ‘Mum can we have cheerios? Can we have roast chicken? Can we have doughnuts? WHY can’t we have doughnuts? Can we have Red Bull? BUT DAD LETS US HAVE RED BULL!’ and so on. (I suspect they were lying about dad letting them have Red Bull – he knows I would kill him if they were any more ‘awake’). Master 7 helped me find stuff in between tormenting his brother, and on one of his trips off to find bread, I turned around just in time to stop Master 4 putting something in his mouth; ‘WHAT is that? Don’t put it in your mouth!’ ‘But Mum it’s chewing gum – look I found it there! It still smells YUMMY!’ He had pried it off from under the handle of the trolley and was really disappointed that I wouldn’t let him eat it.

I had a few moment of peace when they wandered off to look at the cards and I kept shopping. But then they didn’t come back, and I kept shopping. And kept shopping until over the loudspeaker I hear ‘Could the mother of two little lost boys please come to the Customer service desk, Could KATHLEEN please come to the customer service desk to collect your children’. Remember how the place was full of my students? Yeah.

They were fairly well-behaved while we got the rest of the items on the list. I told Master 7 he was a very good boy for going to the customer service desk, that it was the best and most safe thing he could have done and he walked a little taller and prouder – I think he was more worried than he let on actually. They taste tested some fried ‘ducklings’ (Master 4 can’t say Dumplings apparently) and we finally got in to the checkout.

Where my eldest child proceeded to tell me in great detail and with considerable volume about the card they had seen in the birthday card section; ‘There was this card Mum, that had a woman on it and she wasn’t wearing a bra, and there was a trampoline, and two dogs were jumping off the trampoline – that was so funny, and….’    Wait a minute child what? Apparently I had heard correctly, there was a birthday card with a ‘ladies boobies’ on it but the best thing was the dogs.

From the moment they walked in to the stupidmarket and announced that ‘Bananas make me vomit’ to the moment that Master 4 leaped in the air and delivered ‘the people’s elbow’ to Master 7 (while I was packing groceries and being ignored in my endeavours to get them off the floor) they drew an audience. Walking contraception.

Now we have a full cupboards and I can make stuff for the week. As I am ‘re-setting’ I am hoping to have no excuses for convenience food – and I can boil eggs and make falafels etc tonight once the lads are in bed.

I am going to sign off now and will try and get some of this school planning done – have a good week – if you’re a parent I imagine your joy at having the kids back at school is equal to if not greater than my dread of tomorrow morning! Ha ha.


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